weekend~

so. why am do i feel so super tired this whole week! haha. i have absolutely no idea. anyway its the weekend and i am going to enjoy it as much as i can. =D

anyway i am having quite a lot of fun in hc, admist many many scandals. guess this kind of thing adds colour to one's life. made a few good friends too. and had some really funny lessons like chemistry. (btw i can never pass my olevel chemistry and i have no idea how i got a1 for chem prelim.)

went back to school ystrdy, wanted to paint banner but went for lion dance in the end. the banner looks super cute with penguins (go figure) and. chickens. all kinds of chickens. hahaha.

anyway chinese new year is coming. so enjoy!

replies! (which i havent done in like ages, so i shall reply the recent ones)

kaizz: i love you too *huggs*thanks for being there for me ya. if you want a shoulder to cry on, u know where to find me! *tiptoes* haha

franson: ya. hi. hahaha. so excited to see me ah.

smile--!*

my brother cut his hair today, and now he looks like a ns recruit! i think the barber took some shaver-like thing and shaved off all his hair, cant stop laughing at him. anyway he is going jogging with me later, 2.4, an attempt to train up my physique. but he runs super fast! *help me*

ya and thanks shiqi, waiyee, kailing, hongzhen and my friends for cheering me up =) i feel a whole lot better now, thanks friends =D i am seriously glad to have you guys around.

heyhey. yesterday went kbox with s72 after some dumb thing i had to go to. couldnt find the right room cz i went to the wrong level, the room 26 at level 4 instead of level8. there were like 4 guys in rm 26 and they gave me this really chilling stare and said "xiao mei mei you want to join us?" got so freaked i practically ran out of the place. so got there really really late but apparently all the action, as in like the high parts happened after i came. so turned out i didnt really miss a lot of things. it was quite eventful as it seems, coz our session was supposed to end at like, 6 but we kept singing weird songs like bao bei dui bu qi, dui ni ai bu wan, ai bu pa and cheesy songs, standing up and singing until it was 7. which means we had one hour free of crazy singing.

after that we held like 5-6 mini conferences just to determine where we were supposed to go to for dinner. wanted fish n co, but the waiting list was superr long and we had to wait for an hour ++ if we really wanted. and hong zhen thought of this REALLY funny joke (i shall NOT repeat it here) that made me double over with laughter and made my gastric worse. so we all walked to ps, pizza hut was full so we ended up eating at thai express and laughing at the great waitress that could match the numbers to the dishes. ahahha, and aaron making superr lame jokes. i think my class is getting super lame, if you ask me. went to carrefour to buy stuff later, and aaron cracked this lame joke bout. ermm. chickens. hahaha. which was qte funny. then went dome for desert, ate my favourite brownies w gelato! but vanilla ice cream was sold out so i was only left with the option of choc icecream, lamed around a bit more then we went home at like near 11. i think our class has successfully bonded, its great =D *prays that i can stay in hwa chong* i really really want to stay, not only coz of the "jia de gan jue" but because of the tentative bonds between my classmates and i, and the many many friends i have.

anw tomorrow's school! and the starting of real school like hectic timetables and whatever. wish me luck. tata

ouch my eye.

totally ouch my eye, its so painful and i don't like to see doctors so ya. don't tell me its the contacts again, i have been so taking care of my eyes, and i have even changed the solution and everything. so i don't know whats wrong. and thats only one of the problems i have been facing, or should i say decisions.

i signed up for huang cheng cz seniors told me that if i dont join huang cheng, i wont be counted as a true hwa chong-ian, and i joined because i thought it would be fun and give me the kind of unity and bonding, as well as allow me to know more people. however now i have interact club, which totally needs a whole lot of commitment and love for the people you are serving. and i hve interest in lion dance, i know i have too many things i like, that i should quit some stuff; concentrate on what's important. but really. i like everything that i have joined, i think i can learn many things from these stuff, and i dont want to join some slacker cca like in secondary school and fight hard to get into exco and end up quarrelling with teachers. so now decisions again, i guess thats a part of life.

sometimes i get real mad and depressed, and i dont know what to do. i know a smile works wonders, so friends please smile at me and make me feel better, those ppl reading this shld know that i am not NOT a depressed, sad, low self esteem individual. just that i guess people feel bouts like this some point in their lives. no saying who or what is the trigger, just that i am feeling totally down and horrible now. i just want to run away, because running is something that is so easy to do. just running running and leave everything behind you, throwing all your feelings and considerations and obligations away, to the wind. to me, that's heaven. when i can just continue doing what i like. but in the real world it cant happen, can it?

this is just MY own problem i guess, and i have to learn how to get over it. perhaps i should really just lock my door and cry myself to sleep, but thats running away and not confronting the problem head on isnt it? i should just stare in the mirror and find out whats wrong with my feelings, to find out why on earth do i feel like that.

let's move on to happier topics. heyhey my class is much mre fun now, enthusiastic and so on. but we need time, tomorrow have to go kbox for class outing. i really really hope that it will work out and we can become closer. oh and i resolve to be nice. to avoid stuff from happening again.

so there. feel much better now.

i miss you----------*

i miss foureleven. although hongzhen pheywa jiangyue are in the same class as me, but i still miss everyone. the bond, the stupid jokes, the laughing at tchers. saw rina ystrdy felt like crying, and was hugging chailing and trying not to cry when i thought of all the fun we had. its not easy to leave something so unique behind, when i finally felt a bond w a class, when i felt part of something so special. when i could turn crazy (really. not covering my emotions but really being enthusiastic about everything) w/o people giving me weird looks because they know thats the way i am. and when i am stressed like for some performances and the class stays back and pias(like the african dance thing we did in sec4) and people give me chocs cz they know thats the way i function when i am stressed. and i miss speaking chinese and all the works and being rough w everyone else. it meant a lot to me that i could be myself w/o worrying about others coz i know they would accept me. and some ppl for knowing that beneath my crazy and enthu "layer" i can be a very different person, i am not totally happy and optimistic everytime, that i am not a total bimbo because i like pink.

but we have to move on, foureleven i love you. we shall go back ny one day and hug together like a class hug or something. oh man, im crying now.

nothing against my hc class, just tt i think we all need time to bond. ystrdy at campfire night was fun. at least the dancing and singing part when every1 jumped up and down, singing lalala when we didnt know the lyrics, performing in front of the fac our super lame skit and the cheering. although i cant tke chem lit maths econs, and i am in a biochem class now. i guess i am pretty lucky already (like what all the vps and deans say: "getting into a s7 class is very good already why do you want to change" bleah) but i really really like literature. what can i say, i guess i am stuck in biochem already.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

its the year 2005, and tomorrow is the first day of school! *cowers* nevermind, i will probably get over it when i see seniors and my friends! =) i better.

it just does not seem.. hms, fair? justified? that we are celebrating the onset of a new year when countries like indonesia, thailand, srilanka are mourning the deaths of countrymen, when there are people who are still searching for survivors, when relatives are worried for their loved ones. i'm just praying that there are ppl who survive, that they will become stronger. maybe it just takes something like that for us to be able to re-evaluate our lives, to recgonise that friendship, family are the true treasures in this turbulent world. that's all i have to say.

anw, have a happy first day. =)